Gets Away With It.

Be honest. You're in love with this.

See, most people can't pull this off. Cupcake costume? PINK cupcake costume? Most people can't even come CLOSE.

With the cute smile and the humble wringing of the hands and everything, AW YEAH I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. While you're oohing and aahing and cooing over my strawberry hat and rosy cheeks, I'll be smiling on the outside, sure. But on the inside?

Calculating. 

The exact right moment to strike. 

Gets animals to do her Bidding.

I command you, beast. Do my bidding.

Let it not worry you that I have not yet chosen what my bidding is to be. Just put on the cape, relax... and know that when it comes, my bidding will be fierce, my bidding will be swift, and my bidding will take no prisoners. 

The streets might very well run with the blood of my enemies.

The birthday cake hat is irrelevant. You would do my bidding were I wearing it or not. 

Feels nothing.

Take a good look at me here. Sure, I'm practically naked, as usual, and in the sprinkler. But look closer.

I'm spraying myself with a high-powered JET of water. For NO GOOD REASON.

And the kicker of it is, I don't even feel it. I'm otherwise occupied. With my thoughts. With my PLANS. I feel nothing.

For the record, here are some other things I don't feel:
- Pain
- Sorrow
- Regret
- Sympathy
- Guilt.

fuh reel

Can wear pretty much anything.

It's not Laundry Day. My clothes aren't missing. It's not even hot out. There's no reason that I should be practically naked, covered only in the diaper and dozens of pink post-it notes.

I DON'T NEED A REASON.

Wait, I do have a reason. It feels good, and I WANT TO.

So there. Just try to fit me into your conformist, zombie robot expectations of what 'clothes' are. I'll be over here, nice and comfortable in my post-it pants and post-it cardigan, with optional matching post-it gloves, and goddamned if I won't be FABULOUS.

Is a much bigger star than you.

Yeah, I'm in a webseries. Yeah, it's no big deal. It's one of the first webshows, or one of the best, so I'm told?, but... yeah, just doing my job.

Oh what? I'm only 2? And already have more screen time than most college theatre grads? Yeah, yeah, I know. Still. What's the big deal. Just relax.

Cuter than the rest of the cast? Well, yeah, COME ON, but no competition. This one's in the bag. Yep, even when wearing a dirty T-shirt and a fez from Ricky's Halloween Adventure. Yeah, I know, I know. I try not to rub it in.

Oh, that? That's a beer I'm drinking. Beer. You heard right. Why? That surprise you? Toddler drinking beer? Rocks your world, does it? Well... I'd love to live in your world, pops. Your world of toddlers-not-drinking-beer. Just north of panda-candy forest, near Lollipop Lane, along the puppy river.

Yeah, living there sounds fun. But I can't live there.

Because I'VE SEEN THINGS.

Is judging you constantly.

No, it's okay, Adult. You go on doing what you're doing. I'm in no rush.

Yes, I just danced hard enough that the Devil had a heart attack. Yes, I just freaking ROCKED THE HELL out of the sprinkler.

Yes, I can wait.

But don't think I don't see you, talking on your cell phone, chatting with some other waste-of-flesh on this playground (why, when you could be looking at me? The mind boggles). Don't think that even though I'm only 2, and still shit in my pants regularly, that I don't see EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE.

Don't think I can't SMELL YOUR FLAWS.

But I'll be silent, Adult. I'll just stand here in my Dora swim diaper, fiddling with my green sponge, waiting. Yes, I'll wait. I'll wait.

And while I wait... I'll PLAN.

Dances SOOOO much better than you.

Here we see Violet dancing. Still shirtless, by the way. Just because she FEELS LIKE IT.

Just look at this for a moment. Look at how the camera captured her. Arm up, fist clenched, legs poised in mid-spring, big old ecstatic smile on her face. This is the PERFECT dance picture. It should be in a museum.

And now just think about it: this is just one frame. One perfect moment in time. And there's 24 frames per second (for film, 30 if we're talking video). That means that if she danced for 1 second, then there are 23 other frozen moments in time, equally perfect, equally professional. Equally CLASSY.

But she didn't just dance for 1 second. She danced for HOURS.

And she does it EVERY DAY. Think about that.

Violet can totally kick your ass.

Doesn't have a shirt, doesn't give a shit.

Here's Violet. She's naked, except for a diaper.

SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.

She's staring you right in the eye. Daring you.

Yeah? You gonna say something about the fact that I'm squatting on the sidewalk, shirtless?

YOU JUST TRY.

You can't see it, but I'm wearing crocs too, so go put that up your pipe and do whatever it is you do to pipes, I'm a baby, what do I know.

I'm still not looking away, by the way. Nah, still staring straight at you. Straight THROUGH you.

I can do this ALL DAY.